First Day at Pre-School

...sigh!   An exciting and nervous day...for me.  He loved it!

Back to it!

I hope you had a wonderful week!  I had a great time away snowboarding in Austria!  Unfortunately not many photos as I definitely didn't want to risk taking my big camera snowboarding with me.    We stayed with a couple of friends at a fantastic apartment just between Zell am See and Kaprun.  I had forgotten just how much I love snowboarding!  We spent most of the week up at Kitzsteinhorn Glacier - so amazingly beautiful!

I had a nice surprise during the week I was away - the Ikea expedit shelves I painted for Yashar's room were featured on ohdeedoh.com   Thank you ohdeedoh! And a very warm welcome to all the new visitors and sorry I haven't been able to get back to your questions - ok - tick - I just went and did that now. 

And now I'm back to catching up on everything around here...including spending some time with Yashar...did I mention that we had left him at grandma's for the week while we went to Austria...eek!  Of course we were a little stressed about doing that and of course he was totally fine!  And yes, I did wake up during the night while I was there thinking 'what have I done!  How could I leave him for the week?!'  Our strategy, after I talked to some other mums was to leave a small present for grandma to pull out from us each morning (stickers, pencils etc) and we made sure to emphasise that we would be back soon.  It seemed to work well  :)

An indulgent trip down motherhood lane...and a little on change and identity

I realised - as I went to show a friend some photos of Yashar on the blog recently - that I am well overdue to put some more photos of Yashar on here!    This is him at our new local cafe (which is fantastic by the way - if you live in the area it is definitely worth checking out - great coffee and the owner is very much into providing delicious food with good quality ingredients - Molka in Yenikoy).

One of the questions I like to ask other mothers that I meet, is whether they think it gets easier to look after their child as they grow up.  The responses I get are very mixed!  I'm always surprised that so many people swear that it is either just as hard or that it's getting harder.  

In my own experience, I'm  finding it much easier to look after Yashar these days.  I think that this is for a mix of reasons, not all to do with Yashar!  When I first had Yashar it was a huge time of change for me - I moved from working full time as a lawyer in Melbourne to being at home full time and when he was only 3 or 4 months old, moving to Istanbul.  I was struggling with finding my direction and a new sense of my own identity.

As much as I loved being here and found it such an amazing and inspiring place to be, I did find it quite an adjustment.  I knew only a very small amount of Turkish, I wasn't used to the cultural differences, didn't know the area and didn't have any help with Yashar for the most part as my husband's family lived quite a distance away ...too far for dropping in for a few hours to give me a little break - as much as they would have liked to.  And then there was the sleepless nights, the crying... the usual exhaustion of caring for a baby I guess!

Now Yashar has grown in to this amazing little boy - smart and gentle, and by 3 year old boy standards, very well behaved!  Life has changed for the better.   He brings happiness and pure joy to my life everyday.  From simple things, like a totally unfiltered pure grin, and the squeal he gives seeing a cat on the street, or that he just decides to make me a 'present' by wrapping up one of his toys and presenting it to me.

Wow...I had just meant to write a couple of sentences!...Thank you for indulging me.  I'd love to hear what your think and about your experiences...does it get harder or easier?  What does your child or children do that brings pure happiness to your life?  When have you gone through times of big change in your life... what did you do to cope and how did it work out!?

Inspiring mothers

I hope you all had a wonderful mothers day.  I felt especially lucky to be able to spend mine with my Mum while she is visiting here.  As Yashar grows, I appreciate more and more what my own mother did for my sisters and I.  It's not that any of us were ungrateful before, but it's more of a realisation of all that it takes to be a mother.  All that goes on behind the scenes - the care, the total refocusing of priorities, the all consuming love, the teaching and cooking and doctoring.  And everything else.

Mothers around the world are doing amazing things, raising their children while being strong, independent women (whether or not they have a husband or partner).  They are overcoming adversity, daring to dream of both being able to raise happy well cared for children and to be personally fulfilled, and all the while doing it their way.   I urge you to take some time to think about the wonderful women around you and what you can learn from them and how we can support each other.

Just this weekend my sister in law opened her own small children's clothes shop.  These are some photos of the first opening day (after lots of time spent renovating, painting, tiling), with plans for a 'grand opening' next week.   Here is one amazing woman and mother!  Always welcoming and caring.  She has been though some tough times but is still strong, independent and positive.    At age 13, she lost her father who died suddenly from a brain tumor.  At the end of high school she achieved excellent results - more than enough to get her into a good University here.  But she chose to follow her religious beliefs and continue to wear a headscarf, which meant that she was not allowed to attend University (wearing headscarves is banned in Universities here).  So instead she found an entry level job in the accounting section of a private hospital and eventually worked her way up to become finance manager of the hospital.

A while after marrying her husband, they decided to have a child - but lost their first baby in the ninth month of her pregnancy.  They tried again and they now have a beautiful little 2 year old girl.    After returning to work for some time, she made the courageous (I think!) move to start her own business so that she could be close to her daughter while still bringing in income for her family and by doing something she enjoyed. 

She decided to use her small savings and take a risk - to go from dreaming to actually believing that she could do it. 

A sneaky photo I took of Tuba, my sister in law, in her new shop!

I am so inspired by her and by the other amazing mothers that I am surrounded by - and I'm guessing a lot of you might feel the same way! A belated happy mothers day to you all!

The New Year - a year for inspiration and connection

Well here we are! As usual I am full of optimism, ideas and dreams. Just even more so at this time of year! I am hoping for a year full of time with my family, creativity, bucket loads of inspiration and I hope to share lots of it with you!

Thank you so much for your emails and comments for Christmas and the New Year.  One of the things I like most about connecting with you all is the inspiration and motivation it gives me. There are so many wonderful and amazing people in this little world of ours - talented artists, smart business people and, so importantly, the people that are there encouraging and believing along the way.  So thank you!

Last weekend I had the chance to meet up with Renai, Keryn and Rose - three people I have connected with through blogging, 2 of whom I had never met offline before.   It was so good to be able to meet them face to face...to talk about our ideas, our plans and experiences, motherhood, travel and living in Turkey. 

Above is one of many gorgeous illustrations by Rose Deniz and to the left is one of the beautiful fabrics that Keryn uses in her cards handmade with Japanese fabric (and with a new range featuring fabrics from all over the world).

Totally inspiring.  And it reinforced to me the importance of connection - for everyone, and especially for mothers, freelancers, indie business people and people that like to create.

I hope to explore this more soon and I would love to hear from you about how you connect with others and what it brings to your life...or anything else you have to say about it of course!

Quiet...and what follows

Last weekend I found myself in one of those rare moments - when Yashar and Senol were still asleep - where everything was quiet, so quiet that I could hear the click of the stove as I lit it to make tea, the crack of the egg, the clock ticking, little rain drops on the window.  It felt good. 

But I knew soon I would start to miss the noise.  I would start to walk past the bedroom door loudly, to start knocking the dishes together to make them stir.  And eventually I would hear little feet pattering up.  A hug.  And then me saying 'go wake baba up', 'say to baba - breakfast is ready'- three words that are sure to wake him from his usual coma like sleep...

...and then busy, busy, a sparking computer cable, a trip to buy a long overdue replacement (woohoo! Apart from the sparking cable, typing with a missing w, 4, $ and i does kinda make life difficult!) Then home to prepare for the Christmas bazaar next Tuesday (more on that soon) and then Senol asking me if I liked the new computer and me turning around, smiling widely, to say 'it's awesome lovey' while cutting some paper with a stanley knife (exacto knife)...hmm, I think you can see where this is going...

Yes, [cue violins] here I sit typing with bandaged finger after a quick trip to the hospital and a tetanus injection. Eeek!

My new blog address

Welcome to my new blog address! I'm so glad you're here!

I remember my very first post over at a pink canary's nest when I talked about change. At the time my husband and I had just moved to Turkey from Australia with our little boy (he was 4 months old when we moved).

Only 5 months before that first post I was just finishing up at my job as a lawyer in Melbourne, struggling to fit in anything suit like for a meeting, sipping on my lemonade at the after-work drinks, wondering what I would do if I went into labour at work! Strangers would smile at me in the street and offer me their seat on the tram and I was busy preparing for the birth of Yashar.

I had high hopes and dreams about what was about to come. I wanted to be a good mother and to raise a happy, healthy and content child. I also hoped that this would be my chance to really live a creative life. To explore what I enjoyed and find something that I truly cared about doing. I wanted to be inspired. And most of all I wanted to build a happy and fulfilling life for my family and I.

So here I am, ready for more change! Moving closer to making those hopes and dreams a reality.

Thank you to everyone for your support, encouragement and inspiration along the way. It has been a wonderful (if at times a little bumpy!) year.

What it means to be a good mother...

First of all, thank you so much for your emails and comments about what it means to be a good mama. They really meant so much and for me, they articulated many of the thoughts swimming around in my head. I loved how it was put in this comment:

"I think that deep down, a good mother is one who makes her children feel loved completely and utterly...is their biggest fan."

Also the importance of patience, encouragement and living in the moment were mentioned. I plan to remind myself daily of all these things. For most of us, I think, parenthood is an amazing learning experience, a time when life is shaken up and changed forever. Patience, support and finding joy and peace in small things every day is so important.Looking back, some of things I really appreciated (and still do appreciate) about my mother is that she was always there for my sisters and I, to encourage us, support us and love us, no matter what. I liked that she had a life outside of parenting and a strong independence (a good example for us I think), but no matter how busy she was, or what else she had happening in her life, we knew we could count on her and that we were her first priority. She gave us so much love and such a strong foundation for us to go ahead and live happy lives. So thank you Mum and well done to all the wonderful mothers out there.

On being a mother...

Sometimes I find it hard to believe - not only did I have a baby, but now he's not a baby anymore, he's a little boy! This is him at 3 weeks old. So small, so fragile. At sixteen months, he has really started to become so much more independent, running around at the park, throwing himself face first down the slide, learning new words everyday, wanting to be able to put his shoes on himself...

Something that is often in the back of my mind is whether I am doing a good job as a mother...and what on earth does that mean? I think that people are often quick to judge mothers (and fathers), to jump to the conclusion that if a child is behaving in a certain way that then the mother must being doing something wrong, that if a child is crying then the mother must be doing something wrong and so on.

I also know that mothers can be so hard on themselves. I know I can be. I often feel guilty for wanting time to myself even though part of me knows that this is important. And then there are those times when Yashar starts screaming in the supermarket, or tries to hit me in the head with a toy or snatches pencils away from other kids at playgroup and, even though I know these things are 'normal' for this age, I wonder, am I doing something wrong, could I be doing something better?

So what is a 'good' mother?? Of course there are the basics - Yashar is fed, safe and generally healthy. But then more difficult questions emerge. Am I providing him with enough opportunities to develop and learn, and is he learning the right things, does he get enough attention from me and his Baba, am I strict enough, am I too strict, does he need more structure and organisation to his days, am I too 'go with the flow', is he having enough fun!? When is enough enough? And what about me?!

Everyone has their own way of dealing with it, there own style of parenting. But it's also so valuable to learn from other people's experiences. So, for you, where is the right balance? What do you think makes a good mother? What was it about your own mother that you are thankful for?

I would love to hear from you all.

Thank you!

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you commented and emailed following my post 'It's a sleep thing...'. I was so happy that you all took the time to write. I have to say that I started to feel so much better about the whole thing straight away! Not that the sleeping is getting any better! But my outlook has changed and I have started looking at the websites and books you recommended too. The support makes such a difference. So thank you!





Here is an appropriate photo for this week's Yashar update:

It's a sleep thing...

Help! Yashar is now 9 months old. You can see a little glint of mischief in his eyes. He gets it from his Baba! (his Dad). He is a wonderful little baby but… I am tired! I need your advice and experience.

When he was first born he was such a good little sleeper, only waking once or twice a night until he was about 4 or 5 months old. He had even slept right through the night a few times and I was like ‘I have got this so sussed!’

Then for 2 or 3 months he was waking 4 or 5 times a night. This was not long after we moved to Turkey and then he got sick so I hoped the sleeping would just get better when we were settled and he wasn’t sick anymore. And it has got a little better. He now wakes up 1 – 3 times a night (and totally wakes up at around 6am). If you don’t have children –have I put you off yet?!!

It is often pretty hard to get him to sleep during the day too.

Ok, ok, I confess, I have probably been doing a few things that are not totally what I ‘should’ be doing – like feeding him to sleep, during the day and at night. Or walking him in the pram to sleep (on the way to my favourite café so I can have a quiet coffee). Or using a dummy (he has now stopped taking a dummy)…and there are probably more things...

So what should I do??? Should I just stick it out, or stop feeding him at night, ‘controlled crying’? Please! Tell me about your experiences or any advice you have. Even if they are not good experiences – at least they will make me feel better!